Comments on: How to Deal with Stinging Criticism

By: Don’t Skip the Juju: Do Your Annual Review |

Don’t Skip the Juju: Do Your Annual Review | — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 14:23:07 +0000

[...] How to Deal with Stinging Criticism [...]

By: » Nine Easy Rules to Avoid Being Criticized » Right Attitudes » Ideas for Impact

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 16:24:25 +0000

[...] Yielding to criticism can bring about many negative consequences: hesitation, aversion to risks, stagnation, letdown, rejection, and, eventually, failure. [...]

By: Tito Philips, Jnr.

Tito Philips, Jnr. — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 11:36:11 +0000

Checking the source from which the feedback is coming from and the intent are very key indeed. Most times some feed backs are just a reflection of that person’s jealousy of your work.

Thanks for sharing!

By: HJ Frost

HJ Frost — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 21:08:19 +0000

Thank-you for a great post. It is helpful to have a step-by-step approach to dealing with tricky comments.

My own experience has been that quality (i.e. well founded and potentially valuable) critique is very difficult to find, so it is well worth overlooking issues of delivery style.

I think that quality critique will always sting at least a little, it is an important part of developing work to the next level.

By: Dave Doolin

Dave Doolin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 23:50:19 +0000

Very good tips.

I have found that criticism that is deliberately mean is more intended to be personally directed, rather than a statement against my work.

And that is actually pretty cool, because it indicates something about my work really is engaging. Possibly negatively, but still.

I also avoid people like that, because I’m aware my personal challenges, and prefer feedback on what could be doing better.

By: danniewoodard

danniewoodard — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:24:45 +0000

Thank you. Helpful as always. I did not know this series existed. I suppose I became so involved in blogging that I dropped out of following some of the helpful sources. Today I reread the first two chapters of BG and being in a goof mood, decided the writing was pretty darn good. Its a bit strange that I’ve become ‘friends’ with my chacters. Reading the third chapter may change my mind!
Now, back to the first article. Is it permissable to copy and add to my notebook?

By: Cynthia Morris

Cynthia Morris — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:25:06 +0000

Marcy,
Thanks for responding. I like your perspective, inviting us to adopt a fuller point of view around subjectivity.

And, it’s a great reminder that we’re not always the best communicators, no matter what our intention! I’ve certainly been accused of that.

Gloria,

Interesting point about giving less weight to unsolicited feedback. It’s a good place to look – when someone gives unsolicited feedback, is it about them or about me and my work?

So many issues are at play, awash with all the attendant emotions. That’s why I suggest stepping back and not doing anything for awhile, to let all those issues about potential jealousy or intention settle to the bottom so the good stuff can rise to the top.

Beth,
I’m glad this was useful for you! Wrestling with the inner critic is a whole other topic, and one that I love to address, as you well know.

Dannie,
Please do read the first article in this series. It’s a guide to designing the feedback process and I think it will be very helpful to you.

Do not go into a designed feedback process expecting harsh criticism! You’re likely to get kind, constructive feedback when you ask for what you need and the person is qualified to give it.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

By: Dannie Woodard

Dannie Woodard — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:41:48 +0000

This is very timely advice for me as I exprct to get my first real appraisel/critique on my work in the near future. I am fearful of my reaction but relieved to see how others have weathered criticism and moved on to even better work.

By: Beth L. Gainer

Beth L. Gainer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:32:27 +0000

I really needed to hear this, Cynthia. Thank you for an insightful post. I find it hard to deal with my inner demons, which arise whether it is harsh criticism or praise.

By: Gloria Willis

Gloria Willis — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:00:06 +0000

Cynthia,
Thanks for this article. I appreciate your willingness to share such sensitive stuff.

Here’s what came up for me:
1. It takes a lot of courage to ask for feedback on creative work we have done. I consider it a “high space” to ask and to receive it. When it is unsolicited, I give what they said, less weight. When I ask for it and receive it and don’t like it, it means I am finally ready to take it out of the closet and hear what they have to say and use the feedback. At that point, I am a lot more open and confident that I have taken steps and I need feedback to go further.
2. I focus on the part that people comment on–given all that they could say. What they say is about them–the part that stood out to them. Perhaps they are triggered by something–even jealous. At any rate it is something about them so I put more of my attention and desire to understand by looking at what I know about them. Finally, I consider how credible they are to me, and go from there.
3. The more ways we put our selves out there, the stronger we get–seeing that we are pretty darn amazing!!It all becomes more fun and not quite so personal. Thanks again, Cynthia.